TRADGIC END

Today in the early afternoon little Blueberries life came to a tradgic end. When David was letting our dog in, little Blueberry flew to the door and landed on the floor. Before anyone could say anything, David accidently stepped on her. David called me at work shortly after it happened around 12:30 in the afternoon. I haven't stopped crying since I heard about this horrible news. I wish I could stop crying, but I can't. I feel so sad because she beat all the odds and lived when others thought she wouldn't. She turned out to be a little fighter and lived for almost 2 months. She didn't let her handicap stop her from being a happy little bird. I feel extra sad because the boys were home when it happened. Alan told me he quickly turned his head but Alex was the one who saw it all happen and was the one ran to Blueberry and held her while she died. She died in his loving hands. He told me all about her last moments I just had to know she didn't suffer. It seems like she didn't know what happened. I'm hoping that is true. I would feel horrible if he knew what was happening to her. I feel so sorry for Alex that he had to see something horrible happen to something he really cared for and loved. Alex was so upset he told me he wouldn't be able to come into work. I am so grateful to Diane for coming in for Alex. We both love her so much. Alex ended up coming down to work to be near me and gave me a big hug with tears in his eyes. He has cried so much. He is still so upset and very very sad. I worry so much about him. David who always said he wasn't thrilled with the bird, ended up telling me he also loved the bird and enjoyed having her in our house. She would always go sit on his arm or lap while he watched TV. That made me feel a little better. He just needs to keep his unfavorable comments to himself. He has to realize he lives in a house of animal lovers.

Before Blueberry died she had a wonderful life with us, we spoiled her so much. She also had a wonderful last day on Earth. I woke her up in the morning as I always did and held her for a while. We then had our ususal breakfast together, I fed her some of my toast. She then enjoyed some playtime in her sandbox and then flew back to play in her play area while I watched her. Before I put her into her cage, I gave her a kiss and told her I loved her and I would be back later. I then had to leave for work. I always hated leaving her. I was so excited to come home after work and see and play with little Blueberry. I loved caring for her. Aaron also had some fun playtime with Blueberry. He played with her on the kitchen floor as she chased his hands. And Alex who loved her so much, had her sitting on his lap while he was on the computer and fed her some cereal. All my boys loved Blueberry and took such good care of her while I was at work. To them I will be forever grateful because without them, Blueberry wouldn't have lived.

I can't stop thinking about Blueberry and all I will miss because she is no longer in our lives. I remember when we first brought her home and holding her all the time in a tissue close to my body so she wouldn't get cold. I keep thinking about how she would hop into my hand while I was watching TV and snuggle. That hand was hers. I keep thinking of how her life started and how Aaron, Alex, Alan and myself constantly cared for her and how often I called home to see if she was still alive or how she was doing. After we knew she would live I then worried she wouldn't be in able to be in a cage because of her handicap and thought she would be on birdie formula all her life. I was also so worried she wouldn't be independant when the boys would start school in September. It turned out she lived in a cage and ate only the best bird seed and treats had lots of fun toys to play with and was very independent. I know I still would have worried about her each and every day when we weren't home with her. I will really miss our morning breakfast together as it was just Blueberry and I each morning while everyone else was asleep. I won't forget the many times during the day when we would take her out of her cage for play time and to stretch her wings as she flew around the house. I will miss watching her play with her toys and how she would carry them around and throw them over the edge of the table or her play area. She loved shiney things and bells. She was so fun! I will just miss her! I will especially miss saying, "Here Blueberry! Here Blueberry! Come to mommy!" and she would fly to where I was and land on my shoulder. I know we didn't have her very long but she had an impact on so many lives. Not just ours but many family and friends. She even visited the residents where I work. So many of them are saddened by her sudden death.

Little Blueberry is now buried in my backyard flower garden, and I guess you could say its her only time being in the outdoors since we got her. As I was emptying her sandbox, I poured the sand over her grave. She loved her sandbox so much. She is now free to fly in heaven on perfect legs and feet chirping happlily. I know my dad who is heaven and will care for and love Blueberry and will have a lot of fun with her as we did here on earth.

W will miss you forever Blueberry. You were such a special little Sparrow. Everytime I see a Sparrow, I will think of you.

I love you!

Mommy